Positive Thinking
“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every
difficulty.”
-Winston
Churchill
Did
you know that law is the only discipline in which pessimists outperform
optimists? In a 1990 study, the entire entering class of the Virginia Law
School was tested with a variant of the optimism-pessimism test[1]. Students
were then followed throughout their law school careers. In contrast with the
results of studies in other areas, the pessimistic law students on average performed
better than their optimistic peers on the traditional measures of achievement,
such as grade point averages and law journal success[2]. That
measure of success is carried into practice.
Pessimism is valued in the profession, because viewing troubles as
pervasive and permanent is part of what the profession deems prudence[3]. But,
while pessimism might be good for the success of our careers, it is not
conducive to our well-being.
Albert
Einstein once said that the most fundamental question we can ever ask ourselves
is whether we live in a friendly or hostile universe. Whichever way we answer
the question, we are correct. He understood that reality is what each of us
makes it. If we believe that the world is a fundamentally positive, happy and
loving place, our experience reflects that belief. Difficult times are the exception
to the rule and they don’t last long. On the other hand, those who believe the
world is generally a negative, unloving and cold place, tend to come across,
notice and feed into negative situations that confirm that belief. In a very literal
sense, each of us is continuously creating our reality with every thought that
we have. Viewed this way it should be clear how important it is to take care of
our thoughts just as much as we take care of our actions. Positive thoughts
lead to positive beliefs. And positive beliefs lead to a positive reality and
life.
Go
to your favorite online news source and read the top ten headlines. I bet the
overwhelming majority of those headlines involve war, fires, floods, death,
shortages and other negative messages. You can start to see the not so subtle
way we are influenced to think so many negative thoughts. But once we are
conscious of all the negative content that is in circulation and we become aware
that it doesn’t reflect reality any more accurately than positive messages, it
becomes much easier to simply “tune-out” the negative. Be more conscious of your thoughts and the
influences you expose yourself to. When you realize you are thinking a negative
or undesirable thought, watching a negative TV program or having a negative
conversation, simply stop it, release the thought, change the channel, stop the
conversation. You don't need the negativity. It has no objective reality and it
serves no positive purpose for you. Simply, dispose of it. Replace it with a
positive thought or the stillness of no thought at all.
Many
people believe that if they do not face the negative aspects of life they are
not living "realistically". But living a positive life is just as
realistic as living a life full of negative thoughts and influences. As you develop this practice you will find
you don't miss the negativity. In fact, the more positively you live your life
the more sensitive you become to negative thoughts, situations and information.
You will become less tolerant to having negativity as part of your experience.
Of
course there will be times in which your thoughts are not in a good place or
you have ‘lost the thread’ as to how to feel positive about a given situation.
In these instances, try to determine the negative emotion that you are feeling.
Then try to improve it by reaching for the best feeling you can and staying
with it. So, at a particular moment if you are feeling overwhelmed or anxious
about work, it won’t be realistic to instantly change your feelings to those of
feeling inspired and passionate about work. But, you may be able to connect
with a feeling of contentment that you are going to do the best you can to be
productive and perform the best you can, get a good night’s sleep and start again
tomorrow. If you reach for a feeling that is too far separated from your
starting point, it will not “stick” and you will wind up back where you started
or in an even worse emotional state. The important thing is to keep moving in a
positive direction emotionally. You know
you are moving in the right direction if you feel relief from the negative
emotion. Even if the relief is slight. If the negative emotion is intensifying
try to release it and replace it with the most positive emotion you can muster
and actually feel at that moment. This
process may seem like common sense but it requires awareness on your part for
it to work. You need not only to be conscious of the negative emotion you are
feeling but then also to release that negative emotion and replace it with the
most positive one you are able to feel at that moment. Like most of the tools in this article,
“reaching for the best feeling you can” takes practice.
Positive Thinking in Action
Sit
with pencil and paper or at your computer and spend fifteen minutes writing all
the things in your life you appreciate[5]. You can start with the obvious things you are
happy about. For example. “I appreciate and am happy about the vacation I have
planned for later this month” or “I am happy about the raise I got last
month.” Then focus on more subtle, even
silly, things you might normally take for granted (e.g.- “I appreciate that my
socks are keeping my feet warm at this moment” or “I appreciate that my body
wakes me up in the middle of the night when I have to go to the bathroom.”)
Once you have built up some momentum, try finding some positive aspect of a
circumstance that you have, up until now, viewed as negative. For example, “I
appreciate that even though I wasn’t able to go away this weekend as planned
because of a snowstorm, it allowed me to catch up with some chores I had been
putting off at home and get some work done at the office.” Keep writing for as long as the ideas are
flowing and it feels natural. The point of the exercise is to move your
perception and perspective about different aspects of your life in a more
positive direction. When you are
finished, your mood and energy level will have improved.
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